These Quarantine Baking Fails Will Legit Hurt Your Heart

Robin Zlotnick - Author
By

Apr. 13 2020, Updated 1:34 p.m. ET

featured baking fails
Source: Twitter

So many people are using this quarantine as an excuse to get their bake on. It makes sense; we're home, we have more time on our hands, we're all trying to prepare our own food on a more regular basis. But baking is a precise science, and if you get it wrong, it's, um, well, it's horrifying.

If you aren't someone who bakes regularly, or even if you are, baking can be a risky venture, as evidenced by these tragic quarantine baking fails. Be warned: These are sometimes hard to look at. 

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A whole thread of baking fails started when Hend Amry shared her banana bread disaster.

Hend wrote on Twitter, "I've just made what might possibly be the world's most failed banana bread. If I had feral goats living in my backyard, I would hesitate to feed it to them. I will not be taking questions at this time. Thank you for respecting my privacy." 

Something definitely went wrong with this banana bread. It does not look delicious. The worst part, Hend shares, is that she used the same recipe as Chris Albon did, and his came out beautifully.

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She shared a side-by-side of their banana breads. Again, this is the same recipe.

The bottom one, that looks like a mighty fine loaf of banana bread. That's Chris's. Eventually, after many Twitter responses, Hend discovered what went wrong. She confused the baking soda and the baking powder. A seemingly small mistake that had devastating consequences and rendered her banana bread inedible. 

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In solidarity with Hend, others began sharing their quarantine baking fails, and they're extraordinarily sad. I am not exaggerating. You will be measurably sadder than you are now when you come to the end of this list. I'm sorry. 

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These were supposed to be hot cross buns! But that's certainly not what they ended up as. I don't know exactly what went wrong, other than everything. Hot cross buns are supposed to have a cross on them. And I'm almost certain there isn't supposed to be some mystery liquid on the parchment paper. That's truly disturbing.

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I love cookies so much. They are my favorite dessert. And so, it's especially disappointing when they go so terribly wrong. Hot tip: Cookie dough should not be soupy. If it is, they will end up like this. Not gonna lie, though, I would still eat this cookie blob.

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This fruit pie... What? Aren't you supposed to roll out the crust into a thin, even sheet? Did this person just plop a blob of it on top? What even happened here?!

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I nearly gagged at the sight of this banana bread fail. It's a wet, inedible brick, and it was probably extra disappointing because it looked OK on top! This person probably thought it came out great until they cut it open. Just devastating.

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This here was supposed to be a banana cake, not a banana pancake. But that's what it looks like. It doesn't look like a particularly delicious pancake either. Yeah, this is what we call a "total failure."

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I would definitely still eat these sausage rolls, but would I call them a baking win? Not exactly. Sausage rolls are usually so beautiful! They have lattice pastry crusts or elegant slits in the top. These? Not so much.

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This "loaf of bread" doesn't even qualify to be called a loaf of bread. It's horrifying. I look into the depths of this doughy mess and see every mistake I've ever made in my entire life. It's dragging all of us down with it.

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These chocolate soufflés make me want to weep. They are burnt on top but also look underdone on the bottom. To be fair, it's hard to tell when chocolate desserts are done because it's already brown, but here's a hint: When it's black, it's burnt.

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The side view of this sad bread loaf is particularly unflattering. A disaster on many levels. There were obviously problems with the rise of the dough and the bake. I can say with confidence that I would not eat this.

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Nor would I eat this loaf of bread, but only because it looks like it's alive. I don't know what happened in that top left corner, but it literally looks like it's trying to crawl away, and I hate it.

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Can you guess what these were supposed to be? Probably not. This was an attempt at biscuits. Biscuits! I'm just now realizing that these were probably supposed to be British-syle biscuits, more like crackers than like Southern-style biscuits from the U.S., and good thing because if that was the case, that would be an even more massive fail.

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These sad cookies were supposed to be bunnies for Easter. That one in the middle with the frown gets it. These looks less like bunnies and more like melted stars with faces. I would eat them, however. Mostly to put them out of their misery.

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I just, um, I hate everything about this Easter cookie? Is that OK to say? Jelly beans shouldn't be used to decorate cookies (that can't taste good!) and this frosting color is abhorrent. Jesus would be ashamed.

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Another entry into the Easter Dessert Hall of Shame comes in the form of this lamb cake, which looks more like an injured lamb cake. Why is it lying on its side like that? It's trying to lift its head to say, "Slice me open. End it. Please." And speaking of haunted animal cakes...

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In a follow-up tweet, the person who made this said it was "'supposed' to be a panda bear." I don't know about you, but I did not get that at all. Why all the pink? This hot mess wouldn't even win on an episode of Nailed It!

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I am begging you all to let your cakes cool completely before you attempt to stack and frost them. A warm cake + frosting is a recipe for disaster, as you can tell. Yikes. Just yikes.

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These were supposed to be scones, but they're so swollen it looks like someone punched them in the face. And they are very clearly raw in the middle. I bet it felt horrible to throw this much "food" straight in the trash.

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Last and certainly least, we have this cake. I cannot count the things that went wrong with this red velvet monstrosity. Obviously, the cake was too warm when the frosting was applied, but there is also a pool of liquid under the cake that I cannot begin to comprehend. What is it? You know what, no. Don't answer that. I don't want to know.

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