Some wedding traditions, like uncomfortable speeches and over-inebriated guests, should be celebrated because they are usually hilarious and memorable. But some traditions (receiving lines, wearing something old?) should be looked at more closely, because who really wants to participate in the garter celebration? Anyone? I didn't think so.
1. The Garter Toss
2. "Giving Away" The Bride
Unless women still want to view themselves on the same level as a really solid piece of furniture, the giving away of the bride needs to stop. Your father can just walk you down the aisle, it's not really that hard.
3. The Bouquet Toss
4. Not Seeing Each Other Before the Wedding
5. Smashing Cake Into Each Other's Faces
What. A. Waste. Of. Cake. And if you are going to spend money looking gorgeous for your wedding day, the last thing you should do is mush sugar and icing onto your face. Just saying.
6. Throwing Rice
But who wants to walk by their friends and family with rice flying towards the eyes? 9 out of 10 optometrists will advise against throwing rice.
7. Wearing a Veil
But nowadays, only a couple of guests per wedding believe that evil spirits will attack the bride if she isn't wearing a veil, and I like those odds.
8. Gender-Specific Wedding Parties
9. Bride's Side and Groom's Side
Why must we separate the families? If everyone is going to get into a fight on Thanksgiving over who gets the last piece of pie, better start that mingling now.
10. The Bride's Family Paying for the Wedding
11. The Dollar Dance
But seriously, if guests are shelling out upwards of a thousand dollars to attend a wedding, there is no way you should make them throw the rest of their bank account at you just for a dance.
12. Something Old, Something New, Something Borrowed, Something Blue
These four good lucky charms can make for some cute Instagram photos, but they are really more of a hassle than anything else.
13. Diamond Rings
But we can all agree that Kate Middleton changed the game when William presented her with Diana's old blue sapphire engagement ring.
14. Bringing a Plus One
15. Announcing the Wedding Party
16. Wearing a White Dress
Let's hope on the Cristina Yang train and celebrate wedding dresses that aren't just white. Because cake stains you guys.
17. Having a Receiving Line
18. Giving out Wedding Favors
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